A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on Independence Day. Here's his dynamite speech :

"Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children! This is my first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason.

Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected,but at last with great difficulty she gave birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.

We got independent because of great leaders like Gandhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt. You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish you here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A. and other decrease. Then you can become great laiars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or leacherers in college.

The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one day you will become great phools.

Many vacancy job come in newspapers. Only yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can rise. If you have flare in English, you can become teacher.

I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I am finished.

Joy Hind!

There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning corn.

Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honour and prizes.

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt something interesting about how he grew it.

The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors.

"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.

"Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field.

If my neighbors grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn.

If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."

The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbour's corn also improves.

So it is in other dimensions! Those who choose to be at harmony must help their neighbours and colleagues to be at peace,

Those who choose to live well must help others to live well, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches.

And those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all.

If we are to grow good quality corn, we must help our neighbors grow good quality corn too....

1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate

2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH

3) U can bcome an engineer if u study in engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if u studies in Presidency College

4) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop

5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software

6) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world in world cup

7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard.

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your PC.

2! . Name it " Boss "

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

7. Feel better?

HAVE A NICE DAY

Today's thought :

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is

broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to

suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity

may result in separation.

WHATS THE DIFFERENCE?

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind
of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my
hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."

"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and
something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold
my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let
my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold ours...

If a cat crosses u, when u r going som ewhere it means

?

?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.;

;

;

;

;'

tat d cat is also going somewhere....

*CONFIDENCE:*

Once all the people in a village decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy came with an Umbrella......that's confidence...........

*TRUST:*

Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby when you throw him in the air, he laughs.....because he knows you will catch him........

*HOPE:*

Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to get up alive the next morning but still you have plans for the coming day.

KEEP CONFIDENCE; TRUST OTHERS AND NEVER LOSE HOPE

What is a Friend?

A friend is
Someone who cares about you,
Someone who likes you just the way you are.

A friend is
Someone who does things with you,
Someone who keeps your secrets.

A friend is
Someone who sometimes gets angry with you,
Someone who might hurt your feelings sometimes
even when they don't mean to.

A friend is
Someone who comforts you when you're sad,
Someone who laughs with you when you're happy.

A friend is
Someone who wants to be with you,
Someone who enjoys your company.

A friend is
Someone you'll remember always
Even when they grow up and move away.

A friend is
Someone who is loyal and says good things about you,
Someone who gets mad if someone else is mean to you.

A friend is
A link to someone's humanity like food for the soul to share,
Someone to hold onto when life's follies bring despair.

A friend is
F-frank, R-righteous, I-intrepid, E-earnest, N-noble, D-decent

A friend is a friend -always!

Cold Water after Meal

Drinking cold water after meal = Cancer! (this is not a joke)

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.
It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff
that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacted with the acid, it will
break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine.

Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A Serious note about Heart Attacks HEART ATTACK PROCEDURE": (THIS IS NOT A JOKE!)

Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting.
Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the
course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.
60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware.
The more we know, the better chance we could survive...

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.
Read this..... It could save your life!! Let's say it's 6.15 pm and you're driving home.

Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw.
You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to
make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you
how to perform it on yourself.

"HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE":

Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating
improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.
A deep breath should be taken before each cough, deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep
inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds
without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood
circulating . The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a
hospital. Tell as many other people as possible about this. " It could save their lives!! "

**PLEASE BE A "TRUE" FRIEND**
AND SEND THIS ARTICLE
TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
YOU CARE ABOUT.